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Some days the supply of swear words is insufficient to meet my demands!
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Do you want to Talk to The Man in charge, or the woman who knows what's going on?
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Have you ever just looked at someone and thought the wheel is turning but the hanster is dead!
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90% of being married is just shouting "WHAT?" from other rooms!
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Best friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together!
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TODAY'S MOOD, Bitchy with a strong chance of not giving a fuck!
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When I die bury me under the pub so my husband will visit me seven days a week!
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Remember no-one is Perfect. Everyone's arse has a crack in it!
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People who say money doesn't buy happiness, obviously don't know where to shop!
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Men at 25 Play Football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed as you get older, your balls get smaller!
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This house is maintained sole for the comfort of the dog!
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This house is maintained sole for the comfort of the cat!
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It's the dogs house, we just pay the mortgage!
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It's the cats house, we just pay the mortgage, we just Pay the mortgage!
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I'm a member of weight watchers, I wait until no one is watching and I fill my face with chocolate!
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